Birthday Party Loses 90% of Player Count After 2am
Seattle, WA - Sources of a local birthday party, who spoke to ThePXLWriter on the condition of anonymity because they weren’t authorized by the birthday boy to discuss internal data, indicated that the player count had dropped by an alarming rate after 2am.
“It’s heart breaking to see the party come to an end,” said one attendee. A source close to the birthday boy said that they needed to work in the afternoon, and 2am was the cut off time for going home. We reached out to industry expert Bob Hertzman, who runs the YouTube channel TruthWarlock, for analysis on the situation.
People say they have to sleep or work in the morning, but the reality is that the woke mind virus killed everyone’s desire to stay at the party. Just look at the attendance list - Black, gay, gay, gay, lesbian, communist girl, mexican. No wonder they want to go home.
ThePXLWriter reached out to the Birthday Boy for comment, but at press time was unavailable due to napping on the bathroom floor.