You're Fucking Stupid If You Needed Help In Elden Ring While Ribbing Journalists For Being Bad

Maidenless + Brain Rot + Skill Issue

What up Gamer(TM), heard you needed some help in Elden Ring’s new DLC cause the bosses are difficult. I got this crazy guide that is so well written it’ll help you beat the troubles and come out flexing on your friends.

Uh oh, just found a tweet you made about how journalists actually suck at video games and that real gamers should be the ones playing and reviewing them.

Guess you’re a Certified Dumb Fuck.

Did you know that out of all of these Elden Ring reviewers, only a tiny select few didn’t complete the DLC when they wrote and published their reviews? Are you aware that these same reviewers often work with guide writers who ensure that on day one you have an easier time playing the game than they did? Are you aware that reviewers are literally playing the games with zero ability to look literally anything up to help them?

Of course not, cause you’re a dumb fucking donkey. You’re the epitome of what happens when critical thinking goes to a planned parenthood. In fact, you’re so fucking stupid, that you’re going to get sent this article, and you’re going to read through it, and still come out at the other end further ingrained in your dumb fucking donkey ways.

I don’t even know why I’m calling you a dumb fucking donkey. Donkeys are actually smart as fuck and cute and lovable, something that you can’t be because you sit there and complain about journalists and then look up how to do shit. Who is the real idiot here? Guy who figures out the game in the most purest sense, or guy who has to google the next steps?

I hate you. I hate you so much. I hope you write a mixed review on Steam and someone messages you telling you to get gud, you fuck. People who spew this type of stupidity give me “beats girlfriend before Elden Ring” vibes.

That’s just me though.